Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Dear Anonymous

Last week I wrote a blog post about my very special guy on his 4th birthday. You can read it here.

And I got this comment from "Anonymous"

My first reaction was an ill feeling in my stomach like I had done something wrong. I hate upsetting people or letting them down. 

Had I really offended this person? Should I have written something else? Maybe my post was wrong. 

But after a split second I snapped back into reality and realized SEVERAL things. Momma bear claws came out and still haven't been put back in! 

So Anonymous, here is my letter to YOU. 

Dear Anonymous,

1) Hey, not sure if you noticed or not, but I'm fairly confident no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to read this blog. You don't like the content? Did it ever occur to you to quit reading it? I know that's a novel concept and all, but freedom of choice is a truly remarkable thing! God bless the USA!

2) It's so easy to write something judgmental and negative behind the "anonymous" name. I bet it got you all excited, didn't it? I bet you felt like you had some cool power for a minute. Did you brag about it your friends, too? "Hey guys! Guess what I just did?! I just told off some stupid stay at home mom for writing about how much she loves her own kid. Isn't that awesome??" I bet your friends thought you were extra cool for that one. Did you also mention to them that you did this under the "anonymous" title, too? Yeah, probably not. 

3) I got more support and love after your thoughtful comment than you even realized. All day long (and days after) I got emails, texts, Facebook messages, blog comments, and phone calls about how insane you are. Bet you didn't mean for that to happen, did you? 

4) "... but the way you always brag on how perfect your kids are is annoying." Hey, just in case this is the only post of mine you've ever read, you should go back and read one of the 600 posts I've written. I tout myself on keeping it real here. I talk about my mistakes. I laugh about the silly things my husband does (mouse fiasco!). I often write about tantrums, disobedience, reasons for crying, fears for my kids, lack of sleep, lack of organization, feeling like a total failure as a mom. Missed those posts? Well you won't have to go too far back to find them. I am a real person with real life issues. My kids are far from perfect. 

4) This blog is meant to be read by my family in he future. This post was meant to convey how much I absolutely adore my son. I want nothing else than for my kids to look back one day and FEEL how much I truly loved every fiber of their being. I love them with a fierceness that is only second to the way our Father loves us. I hope my kids will be able to read this to their kids one day and laugh and say, "Man, my mom did a lot of dumb things as a parent/person, but I NEVER questioned how much she loved me. I knew above all else that she loved me deeper than anything." 

5) I'm not even going to go there with your lack of grammar and spelling. You know why? Because none of us are perfect. Most of the time I don't even go back and reread my posts before I publish them. Ain't nobody got time for that these days.

6) I was going to delete your comment and pretend like it never happened so I didn't have to ever see it again. But then, I thought about when my kids are in college and they come home for Christmas and we are sitting around reminiscing and talking about the past (because that's what loving families do), we'd pull out these blog books (yes I make them) and we would all have a GOOD laugh about you and your ridiculous comment. Actually looking forward to that one. Bet you didn't consider that when you wrote your comment, did you?

So, Anonymous, if you are reading this and still have issues with my post, email me and we can chat. If I offended you, then... I'm sorry? My best advice, stop reading this blog. Because Lord knows I'm not gonna stop bragging on my babies. If I don't build them up now, who will? I'm always gonna be their biggest cheerleader. 

I reread that birthday post about Jay so many times trying to make sure I hadn't done anything wrong. And you know what? The more I read it, the more proud of it I became. Because Jay will never question how much I loved him as a little boy. And among many other things, I am teaching Jay how to love. I sure hope your kids can say the same thing, Anonymous. 

And to those of you who called, commented, emailed, texted, FB messaged me, or even thought that this person was wrong- THANK YOU. I love blogging, and I'm so proud of that post. 


Kate said...

Oh my gosh!! How ridiculous are they?! You keep bragging and lovin on those kids!! I can't wait to do the same!

The Joiners said...

OMG totally missed the comment on the birthday post but wow. Anonymous needs an attitude check and my hunch is that she is feeling a little insecure about the message her speech/writing about her own kids conveys (likely not a positive one)!

You keep on blogging however you want about whatever you want and as T-Swift says, shake it off!!

the blogivers said...

Preach it, preacher!

Anonymous said...

I would like to aplogize for making you feel bad. It was wrong of me and I didn't think it would upset you so much. I'm glad you love your children so much. The post just really came across a little braggy to me and rubbed me the wrong way. I was probably having a rough day with my three and four year old who were not being any of those great and wonderful things you were writing about. :) Blog how you wish, I just prefer the honest mommy confessions because being a stay at home mom is tough. Hope you feel a sense of relief from your vent and seeing my apology. :)

kinsey said...

I missed it but just went back and read. Why do people comment negatively on things they don't even have to read?!? He will love reading that one day, and you'll love remembering him just like that! Happy late birthday to jay!

Meagan said...

I also missed the post but just went back and read it and commented. What were you supposed to write about your son's birthday? Were you supposed to focus on negativity and his flaws? I am so sorry that someone behind a keyboard made you feel that way. Hopefully she will reach out to you with her actual name and provide a real apology not filled with backhanded sleights. Keep on loving those precious kids!

Anonymous said...

So, your response to a rough day is to ruin someone else's? Nice!

And this apology? Pretty lame.
It's not her fault you are unhappy and you clearly are condescending to her with the weak 'Do you feel better now?' #sorrynotsorry

Please stop spreading your bitterness and trying to ruin others' happiness. Maybe get some help.

Anonymous #twocanplaythatgame

Kiki Fountain said...

Moms are supposed to brag on their kids. Especially on their birthday! If you don't like it, move along. No one likes a troll. By your own admission being a Stay at home mom is tough. Why be a bitch to someone in the same boat as you? Please teach your 3 and 4 year old "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." A lesson you obviously never got. You could also stand to learn how to apologize. That was crap. A "sense of relief from your vent"??? She wouldn't have to vent if you weren't a jerk in the first place. Get a life. Most people who read this are also stay at home moms and I think I can speak for most of us when I say we all prefer support, not judgement. SMH

Michelle said...

I amazes me how people loose their sense dignity, respect, and respect for others when hiding behind a computer screen. Courtney I'm sorry this even caused you a minute of doubt or anxiety. You are one of the best momma's I know! Your husband and children (and friends) are blessed by you every day. Love you friend!!

Anonymous said...

I don't believe I have ever commented on your blog..I am a closet reader. I don't "know" you, and you don't "know" me. Despite that I enjoy reading about your little family and due to that hateful comment I felt compelled to comment to say this: your blog is so refreshing. I enjoy reading many family blogs, but there are so, so many that ONLY talk about the hard parts of parenting and life. Actually, that's a nice way to put it. Frankly, many blogs are 100% mommmy complain sessions: I'm so sleep deprived, being a mom is so hard, my kid is difficult, my life is harder and more busy than yours, etc. etc. etc. You, however, have NEVER come across that way. It is obvious that you MORE than have your plate full, yet continuously blog about the joys of your children and family, not the unpleasant parts, and you don't do it in a fake, "my life is perfect" way. This makes me look forward to being a mom one day. Your blog will be such a neat thing for your kids to be able to look back on one day. Thank you for being so positive and for all you share!
-A kind "anonymous" reader

Jason and Jenny said...

Well said Courtney! My reaction would be the same, feeling like I did something wrong but you DID NOT and your posts are always refreshing for me to read, the ones where you show how amazing your kids are and the ones where you show how hard certain days are... it's all good and I love reading about your life and your sweet family!

These Lees said...

"The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference". - Elie Wiesel

If Anonymous really hated what you had to say, they would ignore it. My feeling is it came from a place of jealousy or frustration. I know it is hard to read that sweet post that you put so much thought in to, complete with adorable pictures of your handsome little man, and then see that nasty comment right below it. But you have to feel empathy for someone that could be so overwhelmed in their own life that they would say, or even think, something so rude about something so genuine and sweet.

Your blog is just that - YOURS. If someone hates what you have to say, they should move on. I'm glad you are standing by the sweet letter you wrote to your son about his achievements this past year. He will be so proud to read it one day.

Dutka said...

I love keeping up with you and your family through your blog. I don't know how you do it. I can barely take care of myself! ;)

Keep doing what you are doing and don't worry about anyone else. This is YOUR blog.

GranDeb said...

To the Original and Mean Anonymous Poster:

I'm going to be as kind as I can and reply to your feeble apology:

1. This blogger does not need your approval nor your opinion on her blog. If you can't say anything nice, keep it to yourself. This is Stay At Home Mom's blog, not yours! So zip it!

2. I am going to encourage this mom to delete any other posts from you. No one cares to read nasty, negative comments. As you have read, no one agrees with or likes what you wrote.

3. There are so many things I can pick apart in your "apology" but I refuse to be drawn into your condescending ramblings. Suffice it to say the blogger does not need your permission to "feel better" or "vent". Even if you weren't standing behind the cowardice of Anonymous, she owes you nothing.

I am going to lovingly ask you to go away. Read someone else's blog or even better write your own. Brag or don't brag. Have a bad day with your children or don't. Maybe someone will give you their approval as approval is obviously what you are seeking. Or attention anyway.

Now, as the book says, Marvin K. Mooney, would you please go now!

Anonymous said...

I will apologize again and hopefully you'll be able to move on. I am sorry. I was wrong. I wish I could take back what I said and wish that you never had to feel the things you felt. Honestly. This is sincere.

Casey Charles said...

It's always the anonymous ones. So easy to hide behind a veil on the internet! Keep up the good work girl against the haters!

Anonymous said...

It's your blog. You write what you want. I love hearing about your kids. They're so sweet!

Emily Peters said...

Just seeing all this!! Crazy!!! I cannot believe some people!! Anyways... love you, love your sweet kids (even though I've never met them), and love your blog!!! You are definitely the bigger person in all this and keep using this space as a place to love and brag on your kids and to keep it real!! I love what you said... if we don't build them up, no one will! Happy belated birthday to Jay too!! How are our not-so-little boys already 4??!?