Thursday, May 29, 2014

A Week In

So we are a week in (a week?! Already?!) and I feel like I owe some sort of update.

I honestly haven't had a chance to sit down and type out the birth story- though I'm super anxious to get it "on paper" before I forget any of the details! 

How has our first week been? Honestly, mostly good!

The first few days in the hospital were just what you'd expect- exhausting. Between being up virtually all night laboring and then having nurses come in every three seconds throughout the next 48 hours- plus that whole newborn thing- sleep was little. 

We were so anxious to get home- Anthony due to his cabin fever and I was ready to see my big kids. 

The first day and a half at home were not great. I won't lie. The kids were so excited, we had family over nonstop (which was wonderful and helpful and meant so much- though it does take a toll on our kids to have nonstop fun and excitement!). Between that and both having serious colds and being sleep deprived and totally out of sorts, I might have freaked out the first night and cried a bit. Some might blame hormones, but I blame chaos. 

I took the big kids to bed that night to start getting back some normalcy, and that was good. Then it was up for church the next morning just like always (though MJ and I did not go of course). We actually snagged a huge nap that morning (why oh why did I ever think one newborn was tough?!) which helped tremendously. The previous night was just what you'd expect- lots of nursing and crying (by Molly- not me!) and little sleep. She has had these wakeful periods at night for about two hours! Bah! Thankfully Anthony was a trooper and helped a ton- it's hard on my body to stand and bounce and shush a new baby for long periods of time. 

Anyway, Sunday we eased back into our normal world- church, Sunday errands, lunch, naps, and seeing cousins. There were still lots of visitors so that definitely threw the kids off again. We even watched Frozen together that night!

Finally Monday morning it was pretty much back to normal and you could tell a HUGE difference in everyone! Kids were back in their routine and so weren mom and dad so that helped everyone. Molly slept most of the day (days and nights definitely mixed up!) which made for an easy and fun day. 

Tuesday was D-Day... Anthony was going back to work full time (that means 5 am-7pm people). Granted he works out first, so he doesn't get to work at 5, but let's just be honest, if he's not here, it makes no difference to me where he's at! :)

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a total nervous wreck the night before. Michelle had left, mother in law left, my mom had just been in hospital/urgent care for kidney stones so she was out and Anthony back at work. I was terrified. 

But you know what? It was actually an AWESOME day. My bigs were amazing. Molly slept a lot that day (not on me!) so I had time for the big kids and cleaning up and laundry (!!!). It really couldn't have gone better! Except for the pouring rain all day. Eesh. 

I even managed our first trip to the grocery store to grab some necessities (think post partum things and granola bars and milk). I told the bigs they couldn't get out of the cart, and Molly slept, so it was definitely a WIN. It was super quick and easy and gave me some confidence! 

We had sweet sweet friends drop dinner for us which was a lifesaver. Tuesday night was more normalcy... I am starting to appreciate normalcy and routine more than ever!!! 

Wednesday was a true test. We had to be at the pediatrician's office by 840 for our checkup. My mom and sister offered to help with the kids, but for some reason I wanted to do it. I needed to know I could do it on my own (remind me of this if I ever question Charley's need for independence!). So I got all four of us dressed, fed, and out the door by 820- and we made it to the doc on time (despite the rain and trying to park the boat of a Tahoe in a tight space for the first time!).

The kids were generally well behaved in the office, though each one had one minor meltdown. :) 

Appt was great and I felt good! We headed to my moms to visit her and swung by Kiki's to grab some granola bars she got for us. As soon as we got there, I got an email from the car dealership saying they think they found our car and would drop it at our house in an hour and take the Tahoe back. Ummm yikes!!!! 

So off we flew to our house! I fed the kids and myself, cleaned our stuff out of the Tahoe (pretty sure those car seats are all too heavy for me to lifting!) and kept everyone happy until the switch was made. As soon as they drove off, both big kids were overdue for naps (tears were starting for things like "she looked at me funny" or "he touched my blankie!"). And right on cue Molly woke up screaming ready to eat. I nursed her and got the bigs down- and then plopped myself into my bed for a nap. I feel confident I could have slept for two days. 

That afternoon we laid low and eventually took the new (?) ride for a spin. Dude, suburbans are HUGE. Massive. But it's an awesome ride and so so smooth for a "truck."

Daddy got home and we ate dinner from my sister and then bathed all three kids (oops, Molly's cord fell off the day before-only 5 days!). That was more chaos (but funny chaos). Molly seemed to like it just fine, but I only had her in there for a bit for her own safety ;)

So here we are- Thursday morning and girlfriend is a week old! A week! She's a dear of a baby- though she's very alert and definitely prefers to be held and bounced (shades of big bro!). She's got wakeful periods at night, crying periods in the evening, but will typically sit in a seat or swing for a little bit and be very content (yet awake!). 

It's been a whirlwind, but such is the life with three kids three and under. In some ways I think having a newborn with other kids is so so much easier. You don't have time to sit and think about how hard things are. You have built in activities and things that keep you busy and make the days seem shorter. But there is no "sleep when the baby sleeps!" or downtime or switching with your husband for a break at night. I truly prefer this newborn thing with older kids in tow. Honestly. It's hard and I have felt frazzled more times than I can count, but it's fun. 

Hectic, but fun. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Ready or Not!

So I wrote this almost a week ago- last Wednesday night! Turns out a few hours later it would all change a little, but here it is.... At least the moments leading up until labor began!!

Tonight we checked into the hospital for the big induction! We are set to be induced tomorrow morning!

I would be lying if I told you I wasn't beyond stressed out/scared/nervous/anxious/emotional about this. This is one of the reasons I wanted to go into labor on my own- I wouldn't have time to overanalyze or think about these things. It would just happen and we would deal with it! But this way gives me time to really think.

I put my babies to bed Tuesday night for the last "normal" time. I definitely cried. And snuggled them and kissed them and held their hands and cried some more. Then I watched them sleep and prayed over them.

I did this when I was being induced with Charley, too. I was so worried about Jay and how his little world was going to change and how he would handle it. And God blessed me with the most amazing transition. I'm not kidding myself into thinking it was all butterflies and rainbows. In fact, it was far from it (the night we brought CK home Jay woke up with a 103+ fever, and that was just the beginning of having a newborn and a 17.5 month old). But looking back, I can see that overall, it was no big deal. It was cut into phases- little short phases and snippets. And when I look at it that way, it seems SO easy to get through- just one little phase at a time. I know they will eventually sleep through the night. I know they will eventually stop crying from 5-10 pm. I know they (and we!) will figure it all out. I know these things logically in my mind- I've lived through them for Heaven's sake! But for some reason, putting my (soon to be!) big kids down tonight, all of that logical thinking just flew out the window!

So at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday (39w, 5d), I had made the tiniest amount of progress- 2.5-3 cm dilated and still at about 75% effaced. Dr. M's words were something like, "Why hasn't this baby girl come yet!?" Question of the hour, sister. She really does think she will come on her own, but when it will happen is the question. Did I want to wait until almost 41 weeks to talk induction? Because if I have to get induced, then let's do it yesterday instead of next week! I also run the risk of going into labor over a holiday weekend and potentially not having my doctor there- you know, the woman I love and trust so so much! So we talked and I thought about it and (thankfully!) Anthony and I had talked the night before about this possible scenario, so we were prepared. Dr. M and I set the date for Thursday!

I would go in Wednesday night to check in (8 pm!). While I was sitting in the office, I figured this gave me a few last days of really solid quality time with my littles (almost bigs!). I figured we could grab a family dinner (one last night of normalcy and no chaos!), and then they could drop me off to begin the check in process. Anthony could go to our house and put the kids down (normalcy), then head up to the hospital once they were down and my mom would head to my house to stay with the kids.

Then they would start everything the next morning and we would be ready to rock and roll! It was a perfect plan for this planner :)

And then my little sister called and said she booked her flight and was coming in to help and celebrate! Oh thank you Jesus! I'm telling you- my girls are so lucky to have a sister! All three of mine are willing and ready to jump on board to help- even with their own crazy, busy lives!

So now we are checked in and just waiting in the hospital room- waiting to get the ball rolling and waiting to meet this little girl.

We had one last dinner at the Mexican dive near us with my mom and Michelle. After dinner we all headed home, and then it hit Jay. He lost it when he figured out I was going to the hospital- which made CK lose it, which made me lose it!!! Ack!

Michelle drove me to the hospital and we unloaded about 12 bags- no one can claim I was unprepared!! :)

We are sitting here- just got into our room (9 pm) and waiting. I'm having regular contractions on my own- about 10 min apart- but this has been happening on and off for months, so I'm not thinking anything will come until we start the pitocin (tomorrow morning I think??).

Here is the LAST prego picture of me (for a while anyway ;)). 39weeks, 6 days- let's just call it 40 weeks pregnant, shall we?!

Oh, and some funny things from recently...

The other morning, at totally separate times (when neither kid was around each other), each one of them asked my why I had to go teetee all the time! Ha! You'll find out one day, kids! I told them because Baby Molly was so big and it made me need to go all the time. They accepted that answer just fine.

And then when they got home from school and we were just hanging out, I told them the news of Baby Molly coming in just two days and Mommy going to the hospital so we could bring her home. They were SOOOO excited! Jay was just wide eyed and smiley and Charley Kate was clapping and smiling! It was precious! Then Char asked, "And I touch her face? And I hold her? And I kiss her? I rock her, Mommy." Girlfriend is going to have a BLAST with her real live baby doll!

And in prayers Tuesdsay night before bed, Jay was saying his and went through his family members and friends that he is thankful for and then said, "And thank you for finally letting Baby Molly pop out of my mom's tummy." They are so ready.  :)

Oh yeah... Tuesday night, our last "normal" night with our kids at home, we had our last family dinner around the table where no one was crying or needing to nurse or eating with one hand while holding an infant. I cooked and we set the table and said prayers like always. We chatted and laughed and giggled and corrected the kids and reminded them to "eat or no dessert." It was just so wonderfully regular. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect night with my sweet little family.

And afterwards we indulged in some chocolate cake my grandmother bought for us. We had sort of forgotten it was there, and I suggested that we have it for dessert (no time like the present, right?!). One of the kids mentioned something about it looking like a birthday cake, and I said, "Sure! It can be Baby Molly's birthday cake!" Well, the kids LOOOOVED this idea and we sang happy birthday to Molly and blew out the candles! It was totally on a whim but so so so so cute!

Oh sweet Molly June... we are so excited for you to come! We know it's going to bring some big changes and transitions, but we know that you are going to add something so very special to our family. We can't wait to meet you and bring you home with us- you have a whole crew of people waiting to love on you!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Welcome to the World, Molly June!

So we spent today welcoming this precious girl into the world! 

Molly June Squillante was born at 4:14 am on Thursday, May 22. 

She was a robust 8 lbs, 3 oz and 20.5 inches long! 

More to come on her entrance later, but tonight we are just enjoying our sweet girl. 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

First Day/Last Day 2013-2014

It's the last day of the school year! How in the world is this possible?!

Oh guys... I can't even think about how wonderful this school year was without getting all emotional.

Here is what I wrote after their first day... And here is an update from a few weeks later.

School this year was everything I could have imagined and more. Both sets of teachers were truly beyond incredible. All four loved my kids like they were their own. These were definitely answered prayers. They spoke lovingly and kindly, they were encouraging, and they helped them grow. They were patient and let the kids blossom in their own time. I truly could not have asked for better people to watch over my kids while they were away from me.

Both kids started the year as such babies. And they have become so much more confident since last September. It's actually amazing to me to think of them then and now. Jay would still cry/fuss if someone took a toy or interrupted his playing. Charley Kate had a tougher transition and needed me to stay with her some after the newness wore off. Now, in May, both kids are leaders in their classes.

Each day when I pick up Jay his teachers just gush over him. How smart, kind, caring, funny, etc. he is. I mean, they know how to make a mom feel good! And they cried when saying goodbye to him. They told me how he was a keeper and one they would not forget. You know the best part? I remember when I was teaching feeling that way about certain kids. There were just ones that held a special place in your heart. And the fact that my child is one of those makes me happier than most things in this world!

And every day when I pick Charley Kate up, her teachers just smile and shake their heads and say things like "We didn't even need to be here today. This girl can just run the class!" They love her personality and her spunk and her "helpfulness." They love that she's a leader (even though she is the youngest) and that she takes time out to help each of her friends every single day. She really studies people and watches their emotions and reaches out to their needs- it's a precious little gift that makes me so proud.

Next year we won't be at this school. Sadly, they only offer a 5 day program for Jay's age- and this momma just isn't ready to send her guy to 5 days of school yet. So we found another school close by that a million and one people love and are excited about it. But Pines Preschool will always hold a wonderfully special place in our hearts.

I am so thankful for the time they had there. It is a one of a kind place.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Monday Musings

I was never a "Monday" person. It meant going back to work or school and leaving the (usually fun) weekend behind me.

Now that I'm a mom, I love Mondays. I love getting back into our little routine. We have our Mondays set- throughout the school year it was...
Kids up/breakfast/get dressed 6:30-7:30 (they would wake anywhere in that range)
Jay to school at 9
CK to gymnastics at 9:30
Grocery store
Meet at Jay's school for his gymnastics 11:45
Naps (around 2)
Hang out/Cartoons
Cook Dinner
Daddy Home 6:45
Dinner 7:00
Bed 8:00

It's like a well oiled machine. And I actually (gasp!) look forward to Mondays now! There is just something about having a little schedule that makes it easy.  

Today was a little different because both kids are finished with gymnastics for a few weeks until the summer session starts. And today was a MAJOR catch up day- we had refrigerator repairman coming, a loaner car being dropped off, plus the need for grocery store, dry cleaning pick up, and regular errands with a vet appointment thrown in there. Not to mention the laundry that piled up over the weekend. Needless to say, this was likely my most productive day in the past several weeks- and it felt SO good to get so much done! It's like I had Energizer Bunny energy- just going ALL day (I would like to pretend this is that "last jolt" of nesting/energy before baby comes, but I'm past the point of thinking things are indicative of me going into labor now. It's just not happening)

And let's just talk about this loaner car thing I mentioned.

Soooo we decided a while ago to get a suburban now that we will have three kids. We wanted to wait until this February when the new body style came out. Fast forward a few months and I knew we were going to be cutting it close with baby coming. Wellllll, the darling husband had a "plan" in his mind that he didn't want to budge from, so we didn't end up talking with the dealership until the end of April about getting a suburban. And we have some specific things we need/want, that put us in the position that we needed to custom order it. Annnnnd that takes 5-8 weeks to make and come in. And we started this process when I was 36 weeks pregnant. Let's do the math- yeah, not happening before Molly comes.

And my old car just doesn't fit three car seats (well, two car seats plus an infant carseat- it can fit three boosters/convertibles). So we literally couldn't have our three kids in the car together. I had some minor (major) panic set in, and threatened Anthony with the fact that we would have to switch cars until the suburban came in (his truck is more important to him than his children, I think- and I'm not really kidding at all). Well, thankfully that got him going, and he asked the dealership if we could have a loaner car until our burb came in. Luckily they obliged and have been great. So we are, as of today, driving a new Tahoe- which is AWESOME. Unfortunately, there is some nationwide restriction on the type of Suburban we want (not anything major, something about the number of specific packages they can order, blah blah blah) and there has been FOR THREE WEEKS. So our car still isn't ordered!!!!! I am shockingly very very calm/at peace with this. Though it's annoying, we now (as of today!) have a car that can fit all three kids, so at least there's that. Ha.

In other news, we are just hanging out, passing the time until Molly decides to join us. We have kept very busy- over the weekend we hit our regular dinner spot (with my mom), had lots of outdoor playtime with our wonderful neighbors, took lots of walks, headed to the Greek Festival/carnival with our friends, went to church and lunch with just our little fam, and then ended the weekend with a (cold) swim at the neighborhood pool with all the cousins and a grill out at my sister's. It was basically perfect- except that I didn't go into labor which was slightly disappointing. :)

Playing at my parents. They did this FOREVER.
They really do have the BEST time together! Love!

Dancing at the Greek Festival

She LOOOVED the kiddie rides!

The mini-zipper! They rocked this the whole time!

I don't think the guy running it was having as much fun as the kids...

Now, this is really unrelated, but a few weeks ago we were going through some baby clothes to hand down to my little sister since she was in town. We came across this Santa suit (it's for like 3-6 month olds) and Charley Kate desperately wanted to wear it. So we obliged. And Michelle just sent me this picture. Makes me laugh so hard- especially when you compare it to the time that Jay wore it for real!!!!

A little small, but it actually fits around her!

And Jay wearing it at 3.5 months! Ha!!!!

Another musing... Charley Kate just recently came down with a fresh (nasty!) cold. Like runny eyes, nonstop coughing, pouring nose... but really low fever. I know there is nothing to do but wait it out, but poor girl is pretty miserable. I was up with her for an hour and a half last night- trying the humidifier, medicine, a hot, steamy bath... Nothing was working for this poor girl. So from 330-5 we hung out together, and honestly, it was such a sweet time. She was in such a SWEET mood, just lovey and chatty and so cute. Wish it was on different terms, but whatever- this was just preparing me for what's to come!

And finally, because I don't ever want to forget this... Jay and I had a sweet conversation in the car the other day. Charley had fallen asleep and he was very sleepy. I reached my hand back and held his hand for a second and our conversation went like this...
Mom: I love you so much, buddy.
Jay: I love you 100, mom (in a sleepy, whisper voice).
Mom: (smiles and snickers) I love you 1,000,000.
Jay: (big yawn) I love you 50 miles an hour.

How do you beat that?!

Friday, May 16, 2014

39 Weeks Prego... Come on, Girl!

Look, being 39 weeks pregnant is no joke.

I am big, uncomfortable, tired, grouchy... all the things that go along with being at the very end of a pregnancy. I laugh at how I said at 37 weeks ("I'm still feeling great! I'm so blessed!"). Bah. That side of me hadn't been 39 weeks pregnant in a few years.

While I really DO feel good overall, I know I have felt/can feel better, so that's the frustrating part. And I laugh at the fact that when you AREN'T 39 weeks pregnant, it's so easy to say, "It will be over soon!" and "Hang in there!" and "You won't feel like this much longer." These are all true statements and all very logical! But when you are 39 weeks (or 40 weeks!) pregnant, each hour feels like a long time and has you wondering if it will be go-time soon or not. The logical part of my brain seems to shut down at this point! Ha!

Anyway, until this little princess decides to come, we are just filling our days trying to pass the time. The weather has been gorgeous and it's been wonderful to just sit outside (and feel cold!) and play and scooter and swing and jump. I am loving these last few days with my "big" munchkins and am cherishing all our time to just get up and go when we please! We have gone to a lot of lunches and playdates and toy store trips simply because we can! No timing around feedings or watching for germs.

I had my doctor's appointment the other day and I'm about 2-2.5 cm dilated and 75% effaced. My doctor said it's just an any-day thing right now and we are playing the waiting game. I think her words were, "You are just teetering on the border of going into labor any time!" We went ahead and scheduled my next appointment on Tuesday, but I pray pray pray I won't need it! Both kids came 3 days early, so I'm hoping Molly will follow suit on that one!

And because my mind is so totally consumed with all things about labor, I made this little chart and find it super interesting (because girls who are this pregnant find things like this interesting- while fully knowing that no one else does!)...

End of Pregnancy with Jay:
36.6 1/2 cm dilated
37.6 1.5 cm dilated, 70% effaced
38.6 2.5 cm dilated
Delivered at 39.4

End of Pregnancy with Charley Kate:
36.4 1/2 cm dilated, 50% effaced
37.4 1 cm
Delivered at 39.4 (I must have made no progress with her because I quit keeping track and was induced!)

End of Pregnancy with Molly:
35.5 1/2 cm dilated
36.5 1 cm dilated
37.5 1.5 cm dilated, 70% effaced
38.5 2-2.5 cm dilated, 75% effaced
Delivered ????

So yeah, there's that. I'm at the same point with Molly that I was with Jay. Just waiting...  :)

And lastly here are some pics because that's all I've got right now!

The point of this picture is not my extremely obese looking leg (?!), but the coffee cup in the perfect resting spot!

"Mom, take a picture of us with this guy! He has no head!!!"

"Mom! This girl has no head either! Take a picture!"

These are things that you do when your kids wake up at 545!!! 
This was 715 and we were beginning to exhaust all of our options! :(

Last night... Ahhhh the cutest!

39 weeks, 1 day pregnant! 
Come ON, sister!!!
PS- I HATE mirror selfies. But this stomach is HUGE!